Petting Zoo Goat People

Ever been approached by a person who, at least initially, seemed interesting/attractive, and you decided to give them a chance. However, within a few minutes of giving them that chance you really begin to wish you had magical vanishing powder to throw on yourself, or better yet, them? I had an encounter with this exact person: attractive, well-dressed, seemingly witty guy. However, after 3 minutes I felt like I was being stalked by the goats in the petting zoo at the fair.

You know, you put a quarter in that little food machine, turn the knob, and with that first "click," they all come running . . . well, that's great because you want to see them, pet them, and give them a little bite . . . for approximately a minute or two; however, when the food is all gone, they stalk you around and around that little fence, jumping on the rails, trying to get in your face, and you just want to look at them and say, "I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE QUARTERS! GO AWAY! I'M OVER WHAT I THOUGHT WAS YOUR CUTENESS FACTOR BECAUSE YOU SLOBBERED ALL OVER MY HAND AND HOGGED THE FOOD AWAY FROM THE CUTE ONE I REALLY WANTED TO FEED!" And, even if you do scream that, they don't understand, so they just keep stalking and stalking until finally you have to leave.

Well, let me tell you this, you don't have to go to a petting zoo to find this kind of behavior. Just visit your local bar and wait. They will come; I promise. They are everywhere, and once you feed them just that litttttttle bit of attention, they're hooked!

In conclusion, I caution you: be careful with those little bits of curiosity that tell you to just "give them a chance" you may find yourself staring into the psychotic, unable to interpret normal human language, newly-branded breed of person: PETTING ZOO GOAT PEOPLE! Beware . . . they are coming to a bar near you!